The Roof..The Roof..The Roof Is On Fire!!!
Last night they ordered voluntary evacuations of Calabasas. Don't have to tell me twice...I ain't goin' up in smoke! So AtotheZ offered to pick me up since I'm carless. Like a fool, I said yes. Hell, the fires were coming to get me! But I told him that if he took me, he had to take Fancy and Banjo. I couldn't leave them behind to be burnt up by the glaring red flames. He said sure. Went back to his temporary pad and watched "Garden State", talked about our days working at the radio station, his show, how different LA is from Massachusetts and the rest of the world, our old love affair and my current situation and unrealistic expectations. Listened to "Fair" by Remy Zero on repeat for an hour straight without saying a word. Perfection.

Love Affair With My TIVO
Since I’m back home, I’ve been making love to my TIVO. Jet lag has really screwed up with my inner clock, so I haven’t slept in what feels like a day. But it’s worked out great because I’ve been able to catch up on all the great television that I missed while I was away. Yea! For new shows, I’m loving How I Met Your Mother (suit up!), Prison Break (wasn’t sure if I would like it, but I do), My Name Is Earl (Jamie Presley cracks me up: I’m gonna get that money Earl!), and Reunion (I love this show so much I’ve watched each episode twice). My old staples haven’t let me down either. How great was the premier of Gilmore Girls? I love that Lorelei named her dog Paul Anka. Rory better get her ass back at Yale. The OC is keepin’ it real as always, but Seth is annoying me this season, BIG TIME. Ryan is looking good with his new haircut though. The Office started it’s second season and had me rolling on the floor with laughter. Pam stole the show getting drunk at The Dundee awards and my sides are sore from the sexual harassment episode. AtotheZ stole the show in that one. I love you, you big beefcake ;) Arrested Development was great as well. So now all the cousins are kissing and Charlize Theron is a British wacko...love it!
Well, I’ve still got lots more of my brain to rot, so back to the TIVO I go.

Update: Lost has me completely confused. Was that Shannon and Boones dad that died on the other hospital bed in the ER? How'd that guy get in the hatch? I'm speechless, because Lost has me so fucking lost. On the other hand, last nights premier of Veronica Mars was amazing. This is my favorite show, hands down (sorry AtotheZ). Logan messing around with his friends stepmother, Julie Chen interviewing Mr. Mars was hilarious, Veronica w/Duncan, even the Deputy was on hand! And my jaw dropped when the bus went off the cliff at the end. This season is going to be good.

"Our Moms Are On Speed"
So my True Love and I spent the day with our moms yesterday taking them around NYC in style (taxi and walking). I think they both had a wee bit to much coffee because they were talking nonstop and had energy to spare. At one point, G covered his ears and screamed "I can't take the yappy!" We went to Central Park, Times Square and had dinner at some italian joint that I can't remember the name of. I think the highlight for my mom was going to see "Movin' Out". It's the broadway play w/ all the Billy Joel songs in it. It's awesome, you have to see it. We didn't see the singing cowboy (does he take days off?) or Mary-Kate Olsen. But it was still a lot of fun. Mi Mama is staying for the show tonight and then heading back home. That's about all I have to update with....Oh! I almost forgot, we did see Jared Leto aka Jordan Catalano crossing the street talking on his cellphone. He still looks like he did on "My So Called Life".

Dream A Little Dream...
Okay, I had this really f'd up dream last night. I dreamt that I was in this huge skyscraper smack dab in the middle of the city (this was important for some reason). I was dressed in workout attire, but my hair and makeup were all done up and it was important that I didn't mess up my lip gloss ??? For some reason, I had to run the stairwell all the way to the top of this building. So I was running up flights and flights of stairs as fast as I could and when I would reach the next floor, there was this same guy wearing jeans, a white and blue striped polo, a sideways white baseball cap with those hole things in his ears for earrings ( I don't know who he was) and he would stop me and say "See who am I to say this situation isn't great? It's our time to make the most of it" Then he would kiss me full on the lips and push me up the next flight of stairs. He was at every landing, which I thought was odd, this seemed to go on forever until finally I reached the top and he was standing at a door and he said, "I heard that it might be raining bed sheets and lover's words". Then he kissed me and the dream was over.
Please tell me if you know what the hell this means.

I Heart Sheryl Crow
I met Sheryl Crow…yea!!! She was so nice and friendly. Less freckly and younger looking in person. I love her hair too. Can you believe she was just a small town school- teacher before she hit it big? Dreams do come true.
Going to NYC, the big apple. My mom is coming too. That should be exciting since she’s never been to NYC. I can’t wait for her to see all the sights and sounds of Times Square. I want her to pinch the singing cowboy’s bum.

All I wanna do is have some fun ‘till the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard.

Look Out Below
Did y'all see that Jet Blue Airplane land in LA with the faulty landing gear? Oh my goodness! I feel so bad for the people on that plane, they must've been so scared. The Google said that the pilot had to circle for three hours and dump fuel into the ocean because they thought the amount of fuel could cause it to explode when it landed. Thank god it landed safely (thanks god). Another hurricane is headed for Texas, better call off the square dance this weekend. It's really not funny though. Diane Sawyer said it's the 3rd largest storm in our history and it could send us into economic disaster...I thought we were already there.
If you have time, check out our friend Johnathan Rice. I don't know where he came from...outer space maybe? But his quick licks and lovely melodies will make white boys everywhere proud. My personal favorites are So Sweet and Leave The Light On. Get close to your lover on these.
To MrAtotheZ: You've got the cure for bad deeds, i'll ignore all other purposals and be your wife.

Forget digital. Go Polaroid. Life’s too short and Technology is far too unreliable. Develop your memories now.

Virginia Is For Lovers
It was nice to be home for a whole day and a half! Lol! I decided to join my traveling salesman of a boyfriend for a few days on the east coast. Because, well, what else do I have to do now? But, mainly to attend a hurricane relief benefit that he’s performing in. Kirsten and Scotty are with us and it’s been a lot of fun in the big blue bus. We brought Fancy too. He’s actually handling the closed quarters surprisingly well. Such a good little doggie. Oh, by the way, Fancy Does Not Love Bitches. I put that t-shirt on him, turned around for a second, and when I turned back, he had it ripped off and was chewing it into shreds. Fancy will cut a bitch.

We watched one of the funniest movies ever last night. “Van Wilder” I’ve seen this movie way to many times. I love the part where Van is interviewing Taj to be his assistant and he flips out and says “I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.” To funny! Well, off to grab some lunchy.
If you’re feeling frisky, put on “Only You” by Josh Kelly and get nasty on the kitchen counter!

Little.Blue.Different.
So we're in the airport and I had a headache THIS BIG. My True Love pulls four blue pills out of his bag and says "Here, babe, take these." I say "All set with the ruffies", he says, "Just take them they'll fix your headache and make you sleep on the plane so your ears won't hurt." I say "Okay" I thought it was a nice gesture, so I took them. We get on the plane and when we sit down, my head starts rolling around, my eyes keep shutting and I'm falling forward in my seat. "Seriously, what was that?" I ask, "It was only Tylenol PM" he answers. I say, "You gave me four!!", he says "That's what I take", I'm like "You're like 100 pounds more than me!" He goes "Oh, I didn't think of that..." He said the next thing I did was just shut my eyes and slump over. He actually had to seatbelt me in and sit me upright...embarassing? I slept for six hours or something crazy like that. When I came back from the dead, I was still groggy for about another 4 hours. So watch out for the Tylenol PM's, shit will fuck you up.
Namaste.

Dear God, It's Me Margaret...
Today I bought my Dog a t-shirt that says, "I love Bitches." I've never purchased pet clothing before and I really don't wanna be known as a girl who dresses up their Dog in booties and hats and shit, but this shirt made me laugh out loud. It's even funnier on him cause it's like a tight wife-beater. I can’t wait to get home and put it on him. He’s going to look very buff as he brags to the world about his love of bitches.

We’ve been having Topspin (the tennis game) battles. But it seems whoever's Sampras wins – conspiracy?

Until next time: It’s Kate Moss’ world, we’re all just cutting lines in it.
Put on “Glycerine” by Bush and makeout with the one you love!

“I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now. While you're out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin' 120 bucks.”

-G locked himself out of the hotel room when I was in the shower yesterday and in his words, “tore up this hallway like a stripper on coke”. Then later on, Freddy wanted to get dinner but G slammed the door in his face and told him “Get outta here, we’re watching Degrassi on DVD...season 2, my favorite season!”. I don’t think he’ll live that one down.

-Did Britney have her baby?

-The Constant Gardener is a really good movie, if you have the means, I highly recommend checking it out.

-If anyone knows who sings that song that goes “I love you I love you Ilove you!” tell me because I’ve had it stuck in my head for three days but I have no idea who sings it.

-Heidi, stop looking up your symptoms on Google and get your ass to the doctors. “can’t we just Google this and figure out a home remedy?”

-I’m STILL lovin’ the “My Doorbell” video. It’s on here every two seconds yea! I’m openly, unapologetically a huge White Stripes fan. When my “Hardest Button to Button” was stolen in The Mitsubishi Eclipse Break-in of 2003, I was devastated! Those kids are too damn cute.

-Back in LA soon. High heels, dresses, shit-talking at the television.

“At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?”

Other Countries Do Not Like America
True Love played a show in England last night and asked the audience to keep the American refugees in their thoughts and prayers and they booed and yelled "fuck you!" To say the least he was shocked. I know other countries oppose our stance on Iraq and think America is greedy, but I was surprised to hear that people could be so cold and heartless about a tragedy that was caused by mother nature. Wow.

Who’s The Ball? Who’s The Chain?

Went to Butch’s wedding over the weekend…it was off the heazy yo! Jillian was a beautiful bride. It felt like Umass Dartmouth Reunion. Thank god I wasn’t at the same table as Eggplant Dikeass and Kula. It was so funny that he didn’t recognize me, and even funnier that he’s still bitter over the two minutes we dated. Lol! I particularly enjoyed dancing the ole “Cotton Eyed Joe” w/ Vinny. We’re two for two, I think we should start charging for the performance, it seems to be a big hit on the wedding circuit. Congratulations again Butchie.

"He’s never enough, and still leaves more than I can take. Oh cuz I don’t know... I don’t know what he’s after...
But he’s so beautiful... Such a beautiful disaster.
And if I could hold on, through the tears and the laughter... Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster?"

Extra Extra Read All About It
• Kudos to socialite Fabian Basabe for his appearance on yesterdays Oprah. Notable quotable: “A lot of people think that being a socialite is just a bunch of rich kids running around, doing nothing. That’s incorrect…being social is a career.” I love him.
• Hip-hop jack-of-all-crap Diddy gets all Trump-y on us and is rumored to be working on opening a hotel in Atlantic City.(Diddy)
• Dick Cheney learns the perils of live TV. (Jossip)
•I laughed when I first heard about this, but was relieved to know that Penn’s mission was a success—it’s refreshing to see someone of his stature personally saving people without vitamins and an e-meter. (Penn)
•Please don’t forget to donate to the Red Cross if you haven’t done so (redcross)

Is It Weird That...
• I'm 25 but look 18, and with ten pounds of makeup I look 15?
• I secretly love Kelly Clarkson's new cd?
• I don't like going to Spider, but end up there every weekend?
• Butch is getting married?
• I'm still obsessed with the White Stripes "My Doorbell" video?
• I like guys who don't like sports?
• I think hickeys are sexy?
• I have to wear heels everyday?
• You were a friend I let stay the night?

“No, we can’t talk about it now and we’ll pretend that it meant something so much more, but it was vile and it was cheap and you are beautiful but you don’t mean a thing to me”

Hey people! Just a quick hello before I venture on it to work. Early call time today, but that means I’ll be home early. My girlies H & K are coming over for a slumber party, tee hee hee! It’s the season premier of The OC and series premier of Reunion, so we’ll be watching these shows, combing each others hair and having pillow fights in our nighties.
My dog got sick last night. I think he ate some bad grass while out on a walk. H’s boyfriend Scotty2Hotty offered to bring him to the vet for me, but I chose to wait and see if he’s feeling better this morning, if he’s still sick I’ll bring him today. He was just throwing up so that’s why I think it was the grass.
Everyone knows how I love the mall. Well, last night me, Heidi, K, Chris, Scotty went to The Grove otherwise known as Heaven on Earth. Surprisingly, the only thing I bought was Death Cab’s new cd (yes, I’m a hipster). We ate at Cheesecake Factory I ordered my usual, Evelyn’s Favorite Pasta. I wonder just who is this Evelyn? I want to tell her that her favorite pasta is my favorite pasta. I wonder if we have other favorites in common…Anyway, Chris forced me to share a brownie sundae with him while everyone else ordered cheesecake. I obliged, but I don’t think I can eat for the rest of the week. Look at that thing!





P.S. For those of you that have emailed me the link to G’s suspicious radio interview, I know all about it and I’m on it so stop starting trouble, things are fine.

I’m sure you all have already donated something to the Red Cross (right?), but if you have anything extra to spare, please take two minutes and donate to the North Shore Animal League of America, which is helping to rescue the thousands of dogs and cats that have been left behind. I can already anticipate a few people saying, “Who cares about the animals when there are thousands of people sick or dying?” Those people obviously never had pets as children—or simply have cold, black, shriveled up little hearts. Give!

Oceans apart day after day and I slowly go insane…I miss you G.

I Got an email from my mom this morning saying that it was 56 degrees when she woke up and fall was fast approaching. I know what you mean, it’s 9am and 71 degrees, getting cold here too!

Still haven’t found a good cleanser for my face. I think I’m going to ask them to change products, now they are using Stila foundation and I think that’s the culprit behind the zits, it makes my face feel oily. I really like Chanel foundation, it’s very light and you still get full coverage. If I bring it in, maybe they will experiment with it.

Is Dick Cheney dead…just wondering: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/343969p-293688c.html

Wassup Jar Jar?

Song of the Day: “Together” – Avril Lavigne

I am one step closer to Kaysar! He’s going to be on The Young & The Restless!

I’ll probably be stoned for saying this, but I’ve listened to Coldplay’s new album over and over and I still think it’s their worst. I like some of the songs, but it seems like they really tried to make a very mainstream album. “Parachutes” is still my favorite.

I’ve come to find that people in California really do say gnarly. And all this time I thought it was just Jeff Spicoli! Gonna get a pizza? Gnarly! How was your walk? Gnarly!

I’m obsessed with The White Stripes video My Doorbell. Love the Jesse James/ Frayed Victorian / rockabilly feel. It’s so fun and the fashion is insane.

Jamie Bell and Chris Young, you are dirty, dirty boys but nice neighbors.

I know there are some people out there that might be interested to know that they added Hayden Christiansen's ghost to the end of "Return of The Jedi" in the new DVD's, and they changed the Ewok's song at the end of the movie!! What?! Why you say? Yes, I believe this is an outrage as well. The Ewok's song was the best part of the entire franchise. My favorite part about it was that there was no Ewokese for the lyric, "celebrate the life". If you go back and listen to the OLD version, the song goes, "Yub, nub, eecheek ee wy-wy celebrate the life, yub -nub!" Classic lyrics. It's like re-writing "Let it Be" or that Celine Dion song from Titanic, it's just not done!

Well, that’s all for today so just say no, stay in school, Shalom to Kirsten’s people and nobody puts baby in the corner.

Song of the Day: "Must Get Out" - Maroon 5

Horses? Is that what the world has come to? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050905/ap_on_fe_st/horse_commute

The past few days have been pretty slow going. A nice change! It’s very quiet around the house so I’ve been able to catch up on the news, I’ve summarized them to better fit the site.

Eat Your McNuggets Bitch!
In separate incidents on Tuesday, July 26, mothers in Falls Church, Va., and Zephyrhills, Fla., kicked their young sons (ages 4 and 7, respectively) out of their cars on busy highways and abandoned them as punishment for backtalk. Channoah Alece Green, 22, in Virginia even knocked her son down driving off on Interstate 495 as he tried to climb back in. The problem addressed by Lori Heine, 46, in Florida was that her son wanted a McDonald's Cheeseburger Happy Meal when she had already bought him a McNuggets Happy Meal. [Washington Post, 7-27-05] [St. Petersburg Times, 7-28-05]

Barbara Bush always looks on the brightside of life!
Barbara Bush was a guest on public radio’s Marketplace over the weekend, about the New Orleans evacuees at Houston’s Astrodome: “And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this — this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them.”
Yes, I’m sure they’ve always wanted to be living on a cot in a sports arena!

Donut Carts
It’s being widely reported that my boyfriend likes to harass donut cart vendors. I’m no PR person, but I’d like to say “No Comment”. Poor G.

For you Jamie…http://www.toesuckers.com/

I’m normally not one to complain, but some things just really annoy me and some things I just can’t tolerate. Here’s a list!
-Commercials in Movie Theaters. I’m fine with watching a trailer for The Chronicles of Narnia or King Kong. I’m not so fine with watching a friggin Fandango commercial. There’s so many commercials and previews that I’m always done with my concessions by the time the movie starts.
-"I could care less” People, stop saying this. It doesn’t make sense. Say, "I couldn’t care less." Tell other people to say it too. Help the cause. (courtesy of Kyle)
-All of these CSI’s. First there was just CSI. Then there was CSI: Miami. And now we've got CSI-NY?? I think that it sounds a lot like CBS is following a Real World pattern here. Next we'll have CSI: San Francisco, and then Boston and then Hawaii and so on and so on. And then after the shows go off the air, the stars will all fly to Mexico to compete for skateboards and Saturns on CSI: Extreme Gauntlet Tsunami Inferno Quake Challenge.
-Low Carb Ketchup. If you use this, you’re a loser. I’m sorry but you are.
-Dogs as accesories. Please don’t buy a dog because you think they’re cute to carry around in an even cuter bag. Dogs need to run, play and be free. They don’t need to be toted around in a $2000 bag just so you can be cool.
-“I Must Break You”. My boyfriend loves Rocky 4 and says this line as part of his daily repertoire. It’s from the scene where Rocky and Drago face off and touch gloves. Sure, it’s a great line, but does he need to say it when starting a game of Scrabble?

P.S. Jamie Bell wants to lick my toes.